Don't lose sight

They say that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I would like to hope that mine falls in the 50% that won't.

I'll never forget meeting my husband Ed. It was during my sophomore year at UB and he was best friends with my male RA. Initially I thought they were more than best friends (not that there's anything wrong with that). I soon realized that wasn't the case.

Before meeting Ed, I had sworn off marriage. Marriage was for suckers. I had been with asshole after asshole and had no hope of finding Mr. Right. That all changed when I saw Ed. He wasn't like guys I normally went for. He was a "nice" guy. The kind of guy I would routinely pass over for a douche bag. I remember telling my best friend that I was going to marry him someday. She of course thought I was nuts because we had never spoken. One night I saw him sitting in the dorm lounge studying. I decided to join him. He struck up a conversation and helped me with my Spanish homework. We started hanging out and the rest is history.

This past March marked the 13th year since he captured my heart. It was also when he told me that he wants to leave me. To say I was devastated doesn't even come close to the pain I felt. All sorts of questions crept in my head. Why? What did I do? How would I tell my kids? How would I go on? Over the past 6 months, we have somehow managed to stay together. I have hit my lowest point. The rollercoaster of emotions is never-ending. They say you never realize what you have until you are about to lose it. That couldn't be truer.

I no longer dwell on the socks Ed throws on the floor (next to the hamper) or the dish he may leave in the sink. Somehow those things bring me comfort....comfort in knowing that he's still around. I have no idea what tomorrow brings. I've stopped planning for the future. For now, I'm thankful for another day spent with him.

There are no guarantees in life. No magic wands to make things all better. If you love someone, you have to be willing to fight for them. Fight for what you believe in... for what you love. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the mundane daily tasks. To argue over who does more, makes more, appreciates more. Life is too short to dwell on petty shit. Cherish the time you have together and appreciate one another. Never lose sight of what brought you together and keep the love alive.